The bush at Saint Catherine's monastery

Inside the monastery at the base of Mount Sinai is the burning bush that God spoke to Moses from. It has been carbon dated back to thousands of years old! When I touched it, a thorn pricked me to bleed. When I took a photo of it, this is what came out. Whoa!

Jebel Musa

It's been 3 days now since I've returned from climbing Mount Sinai. I haven't been able to find the words to describe the trip,or at least the effect it's had on me. I can tell you that we left our hotel in Dahab at 11PM in a minibus with other tourists and drove for 2 hours to St. Catherine's Monastery at the foot of Jebel Musa (Moses Mountain). We then joined the many other pilgrims and climbed 1000 meters over 7 KM for about 3 hours. The moon was full and so we hiked without lamps. The granite mountains were all white against night sky. It really was beautiful. The last part of the climb consisted of 750 steps and I have to say it was tough. There was a group of Nigerian pilgrims going up and we would play leapfrog as we each took our turns resting on the boulders along the trail. Sometimes, they would sing hymns as they walked. But mostly, we walked up in silence. Bailey and I tried to keep away from the groups in order to really take in the power of the hills. At the top, which is just an outcrop of rock with 2 small churches, we searched for a place to lay down in our sleeping bags. Found a spot and zipped ourselves up to get away from the cold. From inside the bag, we could hear the Nigerians singing. We could hear the Jewish Rabbi chanting. We could hear the Muslims praying. And we could hear the Bedouin man selling "Black rock" over and over. It was a symphony. But a strangely eery sypmphony, sung with so much soul. After a while, I peeked out and saw that the light was coming, so we jumped up and found a panoramic spot to watch the sun come up. The full moon was setting just as the sun came up. It was last friday, the vernal equinox, and good Friday, and the full moon... all at once. We stayed at the top as long as possible until our guide, Sobe, came and found us. Took the 3000 step path down. Knees were in pain, but I felt strange inside mostly.
I have since been searching the internet for other people's accounts of their trip and I found one description which describes the experience much better than I can. Bruce Feiler says, "I realized that my trip had begun to affect me some place deep in my body. It wasn't my head, or my heart. It wasn't even my feet, though there occasionally. It was someplace so new to me that I couldn't locate it at first, or give it a name. It was a feeling of gravity. A feeling that I wanted to take off all my clothes and lie face down on the soil. I recalled my grandmother's funeral and the gulping ache I felt when they tossed a handful of soil on her coffin: "From ashes to ashes, from dust to dust." Not until that car ride, staring at that soil, did I fully understand what that phrase meant. Adam had been made from dust; his name is derived from the word adama, earth. "For dust you are," God says to Adam, "and to dust you shall return." Here was the source of that soil, I realized, and at that moment I had to resist the temptation to leap out and touch it."
I am still feeling this energy work on me. It's powerful. Full of peace, so much that I find myself having to take deep breaths. I'm just letting it be inside me and hope that it will help me become a better person, less judgemental, more accepting. For now though, I can feel gravity more. I feel more rooted to the earth, more like a part of it all than the speck of floating dust I was before.

Visit Dahab

Let the morning light slowly pull you out of your dreams as you listen to the fan slowly cool your room. There's no rush to leave, not ever, at $5 a night for the two of you. But soon, you start smelling fresh toasted pita drifting from the seaside restaurants. You brush your hair and wash up, put on freshly laundered clothes sent out the day before for only 20 cents a piece and slide into your flip flops. There are a good dozen places to eat at, each one offering breakfast for $2. You might choose the one with the bright cushions and a seat at the edge of the sea. There's some exotic dreamy morning music playing and you lose yourself in nonthought as you gaze off over the Red Sea to the mountains of Saudi Arabia. There are no windows and so the breeze helps blow away any sleepiness. The Bedouin tea comes to you fresh and you have to spoon out some stray herbs before adding sugar. I like to get the Egyptian Breakfast of falafel, fooul (beans), tahini, friend egg, tomatoes and fresh pita. But you can get just about anything here, including pancakes with ice cream or a typical diner plate. You place your order with the smiling waiter and turn back to the water. There may be a diver out there already, enjoying the watery kaleidoscopic underworld. There are cats sunning themselves on the rocks, secretly hoping you'll share your plate, but not begging for it. They look content and very Egyptian with large pointy ears and faces and squinty happy eyes. Your thoughts turn to an awareness of this most perfect place. "I'll be back again and again" you say, and really mean it.

The daytime is a perfect balance between relaxation and exitement. After returning to the Bishi Bishi hotel for a quick jump into your swimsuit, you grab your snorkel and head down the pedestrian walkway lined with shops. Here in Dahab, you're not bothered as much as other places in Egypt. Perhaps the shopkeepers invite you in, but after a polite "La. Shukran" they will wish you a pleasant day and you can calmly continue towards one of the many coral reefs. You notice the divers are in one area today and decide to follow them. The water is still a bit chilly in March, but once you're in and moving, all your focus is on the hundreds of fish floating below you, picking at the rainbow colored reef. There's a massive school of irridescent blue fish following a warm current just beside you and some barracudas floating peacefully in the distance. Feeling brave, you dive down and follow a school of striped angelfish as they run from you. As the divers pass beneath you, their bubbles float up and surround you in a million tickles. There's no telling how long you stay out there. Time doesn't exist.

The reef calls to you several times over the afternoon and when the sun starts to set, you realize you haven't even eaten lunch. The restaurants are always open and serving delicious dinners. You might want to choose your own fish out of an ice laden stand or maybe, like me, you want to enjoy a large bowl of Koshary (noodles, rice, chick peas, lentils, onions in a spicy sauce) for only $1. If you take it to go, you can enjoy it under the palm trees of your hotel courtyard, then maybe fetch an icecream cone before sprawling out on the mats and pillows with the rest of the guests and read a good book. There's the smell of Sheesha (tobacco with apple or strawberry) floating in the air and your eyes start to close. There's no question about getting cozy in your bed, listening to the fan again as it cools the night air, and falling fast asleep. Dahab, as it's meaning is translated, is pure gold.

The Travelers

There's a country I've been in that I haven't told you about yet. It's this place where you can come and go as you please and everyone is welcome. It's the country of explorers. Every time I live out of my backpack, I'm there. Instead of comparing kitchen appliances, we're talking about the latest little camp stove. Instead of showing each other our new clothes, we're explaining the map of stains on our pants. We share rooms and taxis and meals. In a bus full of locals, we share a smile of comraderie. And mostly, we share our stories. There's very little chance of a civil war here, because we don't want to own anything or anyone. We want experience. Our book: Lonely Planet and Rough Guide. Our bank: the money belt. Our crown: the headlamp. Luxuries: seated toilet, toilet paper, a hot shower, a bed off the floor, a clean towel. There's no leader her either, just a bus schedule. We've quit our jobs and we're open to the future. But the best part of this place is that it lives in the present, with open eyes and ears and an ever changing landscape.

Dahab's Jewels

After our felucca journey, we got in a minibus and visited 2 temples - Kom Ombu and Edfu. Bailey and I enjoyed them from outside the gates cause our money is running out. It was OK though, you could see them really well and we're a bit templed out at this point anyway. We rode on to Luxor, said goodbye to our friends, ran a few errands and walked down dusty streets with our full backpacks to the train station. Our final destination - Dahab, on the Red Sea. We ended up riding a bus for 18 hours to get there, my legs and neck in pain from the cramped seats, but I managed to sleep a bit. We met Tom from England on the bus. He's 25 and looks like one of the Monty Python guys (not Terry or John clease - the other guy). Once we arrived, we shared a "taxi"(back of a pickup) to the BishiBishi hotel where we're staying for $5 a night (for a double room!). The shore is just across the road and the water looked so inviting that we decided to forego eating and go snorkeling. Bailey and I jumped into our swimsuits and met Tom in the palm tree courtyard. Walked a good 30 minutes to where the reef makes islands under water and headed into the sea. The water wasn't too cold. We walked out a bit before starting to swim over the shallow reef. Then, all of a sudden, the bottom dropped 50 feet and we were on the edge of the most amazing coral cliff! Fish were everywhere, just like in the documentaires. I followed a school of irridescent blue fish, then just explored the rainbow colored reef, occasionally shouting out to Bailey to look at some creature. At one point, I asked Bailey to just hover over an area with me and she nervously explained that she didn't want to look like an injured fish to a hungry shark that might come by! WE never saw any sharks, although small ones do comy by, but I realized then how shocking this all was to her. Later, Bailey admitted to freaking out somewhat, being surrounded by so much life, but it was so beautiful that she just pushed through the fear. Tom, who is an experienced diver, said it was better even than the Great Barrier reef or Thailand. So, we're just gonna stay right here till Saturday, with snorkel. Again, nature is being awesome! Stay tuned for underwater pictures.

Feel lucky on the Felucca

There are 2 ways of travelling down the Nile - in a large riverboat resembling a floating mall or a romantic felucca with its teradactyl-sized sail (in other words, big, like the ones I've seen in movies). Of course, we chose to glide slowly downriver, mostly just pushed along by the current, since the wind was so low. It was easy to find a boat. Our hotel was near the captains' cafe where all the felucca captains hang out and watch football, drink tea and smoke sheesha. Ayoub, our handsome 33 year old captain, took us there to discuss the trip. We ended up being a group of 5, Bailey and me, Jessica, and Heather and Christina from Canada. Then, there was Mustafa the cook and Abdu the skipper. Abdu did just about everything on board. He's almost 70 and frequently climbed to the top of the mast, dressed in his MC Hammer pants and turban. He was always talking fast to me in Arabic at full speed and I tried to assist him occasionally by steering or holding the sail taut as he made repairs while docked. I liked participating in the function of the boat, even if it was minor. It's the difference between just looking at a game or playing in it. I became part of the movement, rather than just a rider. But, ride I did. I loved hanging over the edge and letting my hand cut through the still water. I watched the east bank and then the west bank float by as we tacked from riverside to riverside. Once, I watched a white fox trot down the river. He stopped to drink where the cows were drinking. Must have been a fresh spot. I loved laying on the flat, cushioned deck and just reading or thinking under the cloth roof.

We spent 2 days and 2 nights on this deck, all 8 of us. It was tight. We talked a lot and played cards. And at night, everyone snored so much that Ayoub recorded us on his cell phone at 3 AM for a good laugh the next morning. Any time you spend 48 hours with 8 people so intimately, there's bound to be some drama. The first came as we crossed another boat going upstream. Abdu started yelling back and forth with the driver of the other felucca. It was so heated and passionate and then he spit at him as a finishing touch! I looked at Ayoub and he said that was his son, the bad son, who had gone to jail and was a shame to the family. Yikes. Then, there was some kind of scene between Heather and Ayoub and Jessica when they went ashore to tour a "museum" of someone's home,in a tuk tuk (a motorbike taxi) and were being charged 32 Egypt. pounds for it. Christina and Bailey and I had stayed behind on the boat, but when they returned, you could cut the air with a knife. No one would talk about it on board, so it was a bit weird trying to figure out why Jessica and Ayoub were in the cabin together talking seriously and Heather just sitting on deck rolling her eyes. I told Bailey about a trick I know of to keep other people's bad mojo off of you. We closed our eyes and imagined a blue light around us like a bubble that would keep us fresh and lighthearted. It worked pretty well and so we just continued talking and playing cards and enjoyed the delicious dinner that Mustafa had cooked.

The firswt night there, Bailey and I rode across the Nile to the other side in a small fishing boat with Ayoub and his fisherman friend. I only found out later why we did this when I say the captain rolling a joint in his cabin. It's apparently quite common in these parts, but he was very discreet about it. Anyway, I loved hearing the oars hitting the water and rubbings against the wooden boat. I've become so much more of a sound junky on this trip. The noises, or lack of them, are a huge part of the picture. It could also be that since I've lost hearing in one ear I'm more appreciative of this sense.

The trip on a whole was pretty peaceful and I don't remember doing very much, just watching the palm trees and mossy grasslands at the shore with sand dunes rising ot too far in the distance. I liked waving to the giant riverboat passengers. Have you ever seen the Woody Allen movie where he's in this train and it's all dull and colorless and then he looks out at another train and everyone inside is beautifula dn having fun? Well, I felt like we were the beautiful people on our felucca, all tanned and happy and peaceful, waving to the poor bored folks on deck of their metal and glass shoebox boat. I felt like were were living the good life, free of motors and chairs and buffets. Give me wind and river and a good book anyday!

Sand Castles

When I was little, I loved making sand castles. My bucket would be the castle form and then I would always try to dig out the insides as far as possible without having it collapse. I imagined the spiral stairs and the cavernous rooms inside. Well, today, I found my imagination in reality. I found Abu Simbel. This is a temple carved out of a sandy mountain along the Nile by Ramses II for his queen Nefratari. The entrance is collosal, with 4 gigantic sitting figures on each side of the massive entryway. The door faces the sunrise and we arrived at 7AM, so we were able to experience the beauty of having natural light stream into the temple rooms. I cannot imagine how simple men scooped out enough mountain to make rooms with 18 foot ceilings and then engrave heiroglyphs and paintings on every surface inside. 4000 year old paint is still there on the walls. And although the crowd of tourists was a bit overwhelming, Bailey and I managed to find ourselves alone in one of the rooms at one point. These are always special moments, and the sand castle was ours for a minute, letting us inhabit it as our own and feel like queens. As we walked out, squinting towards the sun and the Nile, I felt proud of being human, for once, knowing we are capable of making amazing beautiful things.

Heading South

I'm in a small room with computers on a side street in Aswan with the smell of incense and a VERY loud speaker calling everyone to prayer. Bailey has her hands over my ears cause she knows loudness is bad for my over sensitive Menieres ears. We rode an overnight train from 10PM to 11:30 AM last night all the way down to the southernmost town of Aswan. Except for the old man behind me snoring a bit, the trip was pretty uneventful. I woke up to a sun rising over bright green fields along the Nile, with peasants cutting the harvest by hand. There were hardly any cars, just mostly donkeys and bicycles and horse drawn carts. It looked so peaceful. I saw school children walking down dirt roads. It looked like they had a very long way to walk. The people wore long robes that flowed in the morning breeze. I stared out the window for hours like this, watching palm trees and little estuaries pass by. One of my best mornings ever.

Now,we're along the Nile River and there are felucca sailboats everywhere and large riverboats for the busses of tourists. Today was basically spent walking around and arranging our plans for the next few days. We finally met (or I should say we were found by) Captain Ayoub, a 33 year old felucca sailor who flies a Bob Marley flag on his boat. He took us out to the boat and we hung out for an hour or so, sipping hibiscus tea and watching the sun set over the sand dunes and riverside reeds. We decided to make a deal with him and we'll be leaving the day after tomorrow for a 2 night, 3 day cruise downriver, stopping occasionally to make a fire on the bank or take a swim. I'm looking forward to doing nothing after the last few crazy Cairo days of walking through the maze of streetvendors and cars and people. Tomorrow, we are going to Abu Simbel, where we'll visit the temple carved out of a mountain by Ramses II. It's 3 hours away from here, so we leave at 3:30 AM. Going to go eat now and then off to bed.

Pyramids, Horses and Ghosts, oh my!

I have a fear of big things... big boats, big crowds, big buildings. I'm afraid because I think they're going to crush me. The pyramids, though, seemed so firmly rooted in the sand, so heavy, that I never once imagined that they would topple over. They scared me because they are so unearthly. The stones are so tightly fit together that you couldn't even fit a razor blade through them, like they were cut with a laser. An alien laser! Hopefully not an evil alien laser!! Their angles are so perfect, just resting in the desert for an unimaginable 4500 years. We rode for 2 hours on horseback, sometimes as the only tourists in sight, feeling like Giza was all ours. Bailey and the guide would take off at full gallop sometimes, leaving a cloud of sand dust between me and the stones. I know these observations are nothing out of the ordinary for a tourist, I'm sure, but being near the pyramids yesterday brought everything to a cellular level for me. We went inside the oldest true pyramid on earth at Dashur (different from Giza), down a good 200 steps that you had to crouch down and descend going backwards, like on a ladder. Down, down, into 3 stone chambers. The ceilings were tiered inwards, perfectly. There were 2 massive blocks of stone as walls in the middle chamber. Huge and flawlessly cut. How did they even move them! The smell inside was one I had never smelled. It was a mixture of stone and sand and dust and ancient pharohnic breath. For some inexplicable reason, we were the only 3 inside the pyramid. Way deep inside. And we stood in silence and listened. All three of us got chills, not from cold (because it was quite warm) but from a feeling of not being alone. A chill from the thought of being buried there, alone, for thousands of years, alone in your mummified body with gold and jewels and statues for companions...all in the silent darkness with this massive structure to hold you in. We felt like intruders. We climbed back up the 200 steps so fast we were completely breathless. So glad to see the light again.
After Dashur, all silent in the taxi, we looked out at the palm trees as we rode alongside some of the Nile river, past donkey drawn carts of watercress, small cafes with men smoking Sheesha, and women in their long robes buying cuts of meat off of a freshly slaughtered goat. Here and there you might see "Carpet Schools" set up in enormous palace style buildings for the buses of tourists. But mostly we felt like we were the only visitors. We rode into Cairo and admired the dozens of Mosque turrets peaking up above the buildings, awestruck by the size of the town and shocked by the slums on the outskirts. Finally, back in downtown, we walked to the train station and bought our tickets for Aswan, having to weave through rushhour foottraffic. I watched as young men jumped onto moving trains as they left the station, one of them not quite making it. I watched him disappear behind another train as his legs dangled in the air, desperately trying to get on the foot rail. This totally mortified me! I hope he made it. And last night, we bought our 50 cent bowl of Koshari (rice, noodles, chickpeas, lentils and sauce) and a 35 cent creamy icecream cone and ate it on a wall off the street. We had about 7 waiters come to take our drink order... and we weren't even at any restaurant! After a stroll through the busy streets, we came back to our room and fell asleep, quite content and ready for more Egypt.

Cairo Intro

Last night, we walked around the streets of Cairo. We took the subway and rode in the "women only" car. We dodged traffic like chickens in most big cities. Had dinner in a dive and watched people stop everything, in the street, and kneel down to pray towards Mecca. I was thinking this town wasn't so crazy after all. Just a little bit different. But today, after visiting the stunning Egyptian Museum, we jumped in a taxi and headed to the old Islamic part of town. This is where the streets narrow turn into tiny alleyways full of fabric shops, chickens for sale, woodturners, vegetable carts and people. Lots and lots of people. We were the only westerners there, which stressed us out at first. But then we noticed we weren't being hassled so much, cause who were we to buy a live goat or raw wood planks anyway?! I got stopped by 2 stern looking police officers for having taken a picture near a prison. I was a bit nervous and showed them what I had taken and then they just started laughing. So I just smiled back and continued on my way. We walked around like this for a few hours and by the end, neither of us could formulate thoughts, let alone know where we were. We ducked into a little fruit drink stand and sat amongst the flies sipping a delicious banana/strawberry mush. This neighborhood seemed to wind around like a labyrinth, forever, and I felt like we were transported back in time about 500 years. Sometimes I didn't even feel like the locals could see us. We just wove around the horse and donkey pulled carts and the veiled women as if in a dream.
Now, we are back and trying to take it all in. Just starting to wake up from the day.

बुस्सिंग to Egypt

Whew! We've made it alive to our hotel room in the heart of Cairo. We got on board this huge old bus this morning with about 30 working class men in Nuweiba and headed inland. The first shocking thing was the complete lack of ANYTHING between Nuweiba and Cairo. Just dusty hills, rocks, and police stopping points. There are no green things at all and no people to go with them. Next, the men on the bus were so loud, shouting to each other across the seats practically the entire 7 hour ride. The driver turned the music on really loud and the guys got up and danced for a couple of hours. It was cute at first, and I got it on film and will post it later, but enough is enough. The bus was always full of cigarette smoke too. We stopped one time for 20 minutes, but the rest of the time we were high speeding through the desert. This driver turned a 9 hour ride into a 7 hour. Coming into Cairo was insane. We were zipping around traffic like we were a little sports car. Don't know how we didn't kill anyone. After the bus, we rode in an ancient little Fiat taxi, no seat belts of course... life flashing before my eyes. But we're here now in our Hotel. Up 3 very high flights of stairs to our gigantic room. The ceiling height makes me think of those old movies from the 30's and 40's, Probablly a good 20 to 30 feet! We have real beds. This will be the first time Bailey and I will have slept on a mattress in over a month. And we have our own bathroom!!! Tonight, Bailey, Jessica and I are going to dinner and then catch a movie (only 2 dollars). Big city living. Tomorrow, we're headed to the Egyptian museum for an intro and then the next day we're hiring a guide for the pyramids. Well, I'm writing on the run now. No time to proofread anything as there's always a line for these machines. I'm sure my posts will be a mess, but at least I'll be getting it down as it happens.
Oh, and we have a balcony all to ourselves. I'm going to go relax and watch the night come into downtown.

The Red Sea

We left the camp early morning 2 days ago, grabbed our backpacks from the hostel and jumped in a cab with two tourists who were also headed to Aqaba. We went to the Egyptian consulate to get our Visas, which was a dirty cinderblock room with a corrugated metal roof and ancient wooden seats. Took about an hour and then we hopped into another cab and went to the Israeli border, where we walked across. I felt like I was on a conveyor belt, getting this stamp and that one, checking of the passports over an over by many guards, emptying my backpack. Finally, we were in Israel, about 100 meters later and 30 minutes later. Met up with some Austrians and shared a cab towards Taba, at the Egyptian border. We stopped for 2 hours at some fancy Aquarium along the way, but Bailey and I could not afford to go in. Israel is pricey like Europe and it has the feel of Fort Lauderdale down there in Eilat along the Red Sea. So we waited for the Austrians and just people watched. It's so strange to be so close to Jordan and yet feel like you're in a completely different country. The people are of a different race, they speak a different language, and are much more well off economically than in Jordan. Anyway, we then made our way to the Egyptian border 2km away and walked across like at the other border. More stamps and checks. This time, as soon as we stepped outside onto Egyptian soil, we were harrassed by dozens of taxi and van drivers. Again, the people looked totally different and the wealth changed dramatically. Bailey and I made our way in the heat to the decrepit bus station and had to haggle the driver for the correct price. So different from Jordan and Israel. Everything here must be bargained. Even the hostel room.
The hostel is fantastic. It's actually a camp along the beach of palm tree huts and lounging areas along the shore. The food is amazing and we do nothing except read, sleep and eat. Our friend, Jessica, who we met in Wadi Rum, is with us for this Egypt trip, so we've had some nice fresh conversation as well.
I'd love to write more, but some people just came in to use the computer. I will have photos when we return to Wadi Rum in 2 weeks. Tomorrow morning, we leave at 9 AM for Cairo. I'm getting really excited!
Cheers

Side Trip

Bailey and I are leaving for a 2 week trip to Egypt early tomorrow morning. Abbey, the new Helpexchanger, just arrived last night, so we're free to go. We are so close to the Pyramids and the Nile that to miss it would be a sin. We will definitely post about our trip, although we will be dependent on internet cafes to do so, so there may be some delays. Till then, Mar Salam.

The need To Nest

I’m not sure how to start writing, so I just broke off another piece of pita bread and started eating and staring out into nothing again. I woke up this morning at the camp, went back to Rum village, and now I’m back by myself for the whole day. Well,, there’s a Polish couple and their 2 year old and Farris here as well. But I’ve nested myself inside one of the big tents with all the blanket and mattresses I could find. I’ve made it big so I can lay on it in any direction. Once set up, I’ve proceeded to eat all the treats I bought for the day: 3 cookies and a 7Up and a pita bread. I’ve got about 4 bites left and then I’ll have no excuse for keeping all my thoughts inside. It’s 9 AM.

I think I’ve reached an annoying layer of silt inside myself. Coming here, to the desert, to a strange, timeless environment, seemed like an easy ticket to inspire change in me. And, by my previous blog entries, you might think that I have, but suddenly, I’m hitting this sludge of cravings, desires and boredom. I want to watch a movie. I want to take a bath and sit on a toilet seat and have a real shower. I want to be entertained without having to participate. I want new clothes. Ugh. The worst of it are all the random thoughts in my head. I’ve got some kind of monologue running all the time, trying to find a handhold and get out of my ego. Sometimes, I have to force myself to stop and look around. Be here now.

But somehow, I don’t think I’m stepping backwards. I think I’m just hitting one of those detox phases you go through when you’re changing. All the old thoughts are trying to save themselves. So today, I’ve made this cocoon. I’m gonna write in it, nap in it, read in it and see what happens. No one around to pull me out. I’m just going to let it do it’s thing. So, I’ll see you all later.

..I don’t know how long I slept, but everyone else is napping too. Farris is just lying curled up in the sand next to the kitchen and the Polish family is all quiet in their tent. Knowing they are asleep makes me feel at peace. I often feel a pressure to do something, even here in Wadi Rum. But seeing everyone else chillin out is very soothing. I woke up still feeling clogged with thoughts, though, but after walking around outside, I’m getting some clarity.

I’ve never really organized anything before in my life. I can’t even bring myself to throw parties. Here I am contemplating setting up a scholarship program for girl students of Rum to go to college. I’m excited about the idea, but then that busy mind starts rolling and I outtalk myself into confusion. Same goes for most plans. It’s more clear to me out here what I need to do. I need to meditate. I think meditation will show me that my life is simple and I can accomplish anything as long as I’m grounded. And also, I need to make sure I set boundaries. These past few days, I’ve been talking to people nonstop and this doesn’t work for me. Ok, then, enough talking. I’m going to go sit on a butte and let the air clear my head some more. See you later, nest… oops, I forgot to put on suntan lotion. Ok, bye.

I’m back after 20 minutes. I had a realization. I’m sleepy. Too tired for big revelations. I can hear the Polish dad snoring. I’m gonna go back to sleep….

It’s 3PM now and I’m still in my mound of blankets and mats. I just stepped out for a small glass of sweet tea. I drank it sitting on a stump outside the kitchen shack, staring again into nothing. The wind is blowing a bit. My head is quieting and I’m able to hear the silence of the desert again. Feeling more a part of everything. Feeling calm.